We all go through subtle changes over the course of time, we learn lessons, we take a class, or find a new hobby that enhances our life. But there are some moments in life that are different, they are unforgettable and some people call them defining. I have had several of them in my life. The ones that stand out for me came out of big, life changing events such as graduating high school and entering the military, getting divorced, having children and leaving my job. I have heard of people making big changes after having an accident, losing a loved one or getting laid off. These are times in life that demand you to stop and re-evaluate the course you are on. I believe they are put there for a reason and if we ignore them and keep on the same path, something else is going to try to get our attention down the road.
Each time I reached one of these turning points I made a conscious decision to change my direction and re-invent myself. One thing I noticed recently with the help of one of my peer coaches, was that on some occasions I chose to go it alone in designing my new life and sometimes I embarked on the journey with some sort of counsel. The times I asked for help I made better decisions and didn’t seem to need to do as much backtracking to get on the right path. Having someone outside of my family and friends to bounce ideas off of made a huge difference in how I looked at things and even how open minded I became. I considered options that I may not have thought of when asked to look a bit deeper than I would have on my own.
For instance, when I left high school I had one big goal. I had decided that since I was going someplace where nobody knew me, I could be anyone I wanted. I decided that I was no longer the goody-two-shoes girl who never had any fun and got picked on. I was now the party girl who lived on the edge. I made up stories about my past and went to every party on the weekends. Mission accomplished! Now I wonder if things would have been different if I had someone to talk to about other ways to deal with the pain of being bullied in school. I can only imagine that there were less self-destructive activities I could have taken part in.
One of my clients just went through a very rough time. She selflessly works with mentally disabled patients and has for 27 years. This summer she endured an accident on the job and injured her back. She was out of work and was told if she had anymore injuries to her back she could be paralyzed. We worked together to explore other employment options all the while working on her sense of self-worth and confidence. When it was time to go back to work she was happy to still have a job and be out of the house making her full income again. Then she was injured again. This time since she was in a different frame of mind and felt she had more options, she decided to apply for a higher position within her company. She interviewed and was given the job on the spot, her salary doubled and she will no longer be put in situations that are harmful to her health. She still gets to help mentally disabled people, but in a management role. I was one of the first people she called! I am so proud of how hard she worked on herself to get to this place of being able to ask for what she wants.
If you are in an uncomfortable place right now and you are wondering where to turn next, this could be the perfect opportunity to re-invent yourself. If you want to talk to me about your options, I am happy to schedule a free 1/2 hour session. Click here to schedule a time.