How Coaching is Like Water

coaching is like waterThere is a funny thing about coaching, if someone has never worked with a coach, and I am talking about a true coach not a mentor or trainer, they can’t fully understand what kinds of changes they can expect in their lives. It is actually something you can’t really put into words. I can only liken it to trying to explain to someone what water feels like. How would you explain the feeling of water? It’s like, wet, you know… Strange example, but imagine someone had never felt water on their skin, taken a bath or gone swimming. How would you explain that sensation to someone? Well, that’s kind of how I feel about coaching. Since I have been coached by a true coach, I know how it feels to be really listened to and understood. It is a feeling that I cannot un-feel. However it is hard to explain exactly how life changing it is. Before coaching, I was a skeptic, I grew up believing that you did EVERYTHING yourself. If you wanted to talk something over, you talked to your family or friends. If you needed motivation to accomplish something well, you just pull up your bootstraps and did it. Willpower was a virtue that you just better have, period. Goals? Well, who has time for that? You just get a job and bring home a paycheck. Okay, so now I will try to explain coaching.

Your family and friends mean well. However they usually have their own reasons for the advice they give you. They are worried you will make poor choices or they may lose something if you make a huge change. This is a generalization of course, there are people who are coach-like in the way they conduct themselves, but when it comes to their family or close friends they still have a vested interest. A coach first of all very rarely gives “advice”, it is not our MO. As much as your coach cares about you, especially as you build a relationship of trust and mutual understanding, it is their function to listen very carefully to what is important to you and help you move towards the future you really want. For instance, a friend may think you should take a certain job because that is what they would do or it seems like a great opportunity on the outside. A coach helps you make the choice that will feel right in your soul.

A coach makes you take time for yourself. When you are talking to your friends it would be rude to just talk about yourself and your ideas and your successes or failures and then leave. We all know that, and that means that when we are having a normal conversation we only say so much about what’s going on with us. When you are in a coaching session you are allowed to spend time on the thing that is really holding you back, explore all the reasons why and then come up with a plan of action to move past the block. Or on the flip side, you are allowed to celebrate an accomplishment and find a way to leverage that success to move forward, really dig into how it happened and how to replicate it in the future. Our friends have their own dilemmas or exciting news and only so much time to spend on them, so the time with them is usually limited. Of course I am talking about adult friendships, I can remember a time before we had kids where I could talk on the phone for hours at a time with my best friend and solve all the world’s problems not just mine and hers.

Bottom line, it is like being immersed in a pool of understanding and positive energy. I have NEVER gotten off the phone with my coach and felt hopeless. I may have gone into my share of calls feeling like nothing could help me, but I always got off the phone with a new lease on life. When we hold on to our challenges and mull over them by ourselves, they seem so much bigger and harder to overcome. When you work with someone who is trained to ask the right questions those mountains become little hills, easy to walk over and see the other side. If you are ready to experience this for yourself, email me:

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